Waning Cresent
by Dunno12345
Summary: New Moon, the goodbye scene from Edward's POV.


We stood in the forest, not far from the dirt path that slithered through the trees, keeping it in plain sight for _her_.

"Okay, let's talk," she said, voice bold.

_I can't do this_, I thought, _for it would surely kill me_. I took a deep breath. "Bella, we're leaving."

She followed suit and inhaled once. "Why now? Another year-"

"Bella, it's time," I said, insuring my voice conveyed none of the emotions I felt. "How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

The words tasted like acid, scalding my throat on the way out. _filthy liar!_, I mentally screamed at myself.

Her face whitened. "When you say _we_-

"I mean my family and myself," I replied, enunciating each word. It felt as if my world was coming apart at the seam.

"Okay," she said, "I'll come with you."

_now, do it now!_"You can't, Bella. Where we're going ... it's not the right place for you." I choked.

She looked unconvinced. "Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella." At least this wasn't a lie.

"Don't be ridiculous," she begged. I wanted nothing more then to take her hand and kiss her, promising her my deadened heart, a heart in which she had very nearly made beat again.

But I couldn't.

"You're the very best part of my life," Bella went on.

"My world is not for you."

"What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

The image flashed through my mind; Jazz's senses snapping on Bella as blood had pooled from her arm, my brother, wanting to suck the life from the girl I loved, the only true thing that had kept me anchored to this world. And now I was leaving her behind. "You're right," I agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Pheonix, you promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted her, unable to bear this pain. Everything inside me felt as if it was shredding, sharding into a mass of hopeless pieces until I it turned to ash; like a vampire was said to do in the sun.

"No!" This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted, outraged. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward,"-_stop_ -"I don't care! You can have my soul,"-_STOP!_-"I don't want it without you! It's yours already!"

I took a deep, excruciating breath. It was now or never.  
"Bella, I don't"-_I'll always_- "want you" -_belong_-  
"with me"-_to you_.

When she spoke, she sounded as if she was being strangled, and I was doing it to her. "You . . . don't . . . want me?"

"No."

"Well, that changes things." She said, calmly.

I looked towards the trees, unable to look at her, because if I did, I'd lose it. "Of course, I'll always love you ... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm ... _tired_of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back at her, the anguish of knowing these were my final glimpses of her, and I was greedy. I would not waste them. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't do this."

"You're not good for me, Bella." The words were a poison; enough to make me suffer incomprehensible pain, but not enough to let me die.

"If ... that's what you want."

I was unaware of my head nodding. "I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much to ask."

I could see her swallow. "Anything."

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" and when she nodded, I added, "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself-for him."

_for me_.

She nodded again. "I will."

"And I'll make you a promise in return." _this was it_. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me." My jaw locked and I spat out the last line. "It will be as if I'd never existed."

Her knees had started to shake and I clenched my hands in fists so tightly, that they would have crushed bone into dust. She believed me, _.that_.

"Don't worry," I couldn't hear my own words, "you're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds."

Bella's chocolate-brown eyes melted into me, as if she could see straight into my soul-if I had one. "And your memories?"  
"Well," I hesitated, "I won't forget. But my kind ... we're very easily distracted." _lie, lie, lie_. "That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again."

Her next line caught me off-guard. "Alice isn't coming back," she choked.

I shook my head numbly. "No, they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?"

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."  
I supressed a choke. "Goodbye, Bella."

"Wait!" she called, reaching for me.  
I had thought being turned into a vampire had been the most unbearable pain imaginable-

I pinned her hands back and pressed my lips, feather-light, to her forehead.

-But I had been horribly wrong.

I barely had time to vanish before I changed my mind.


End file.
